I really should pay off my debt. I should spend less. I should start saving more. I should have a budget.
To reach a financial goal, or any goal for that matter, it isn’t enough to know that you should do it. You have to want it. You have to want it bad. And you have to know why you want it.
But, wait. Even that’s not enough.
You have to take the action and do the hard work to get it.
With the busyness of everyday life, we often set goals only to let them slide a short time later. We know we should work on them. And we do want to accomplish them, but either we don’t know where to start or we can’t keep the motivation to do what needs to be done.
Do you know what you want your life to look like? Do you want to have your debt gone? Do you want to retire early? Do you simply want financial security for your family?
How do you get there?
When you have a vision of what life could be like if you do the hard work, you can begin to see why the shoulds must turn into wants and, ultimately, into actions.
Because, let’s face it, success doesn’t just happen.
If you want something bad enough, you have to commit to do the hard work it takes to get it.
Unfortunately, even the initial commitment to do the hard work isn’t enough to ensure success. Our brains aren’t wired that way. It’s incredibly difficult to work on something that isn’t all that pleasant even if it is to get a desired end result. Sometimes you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and force yourself to get started. Remember, you are doing this because you really WANT it.
Exercise is the perfect example of this (at least for me!).
I’ve noticed this phenomenon occurring at my local YMCA each year. Beginning on January 2, the place is packed To. The. Brim. It’s so crowded you have to wait for the machines unless you go at 9 pm (I do this in January). By the time February rolls around, the crowds are virtually gone. I suspect this phenomenon is not isolated to just my local YMCA!
Somehow I’ve managed to stick to a somewhat decent exercise habit for several years but, I admit, it’s never, ever easy. Do I want to exercise? Not usually. Do I feel better when I exercise? Absolutely!!! Do I see results of exercising? Yes (improvement in my strength, as well as Taekwondo and climbing abilities)
I exercise because I have felt and seen the results, plus I feel amazing when I’m done.
But, sometimes, even knowing the results is still not enough to make me want to walk through those gym doors. And, quite honestly, I rarely want to walk through those doors. I literally have to make myself get in there and get started.
Exercise is the perfect example of how taking those initial, sometimes painful, steps can lead to positive results. I almost never want to work out, but once I get there and get started, I stay longer and work harder than anticipated (and, most times, I actually enjoy it too).
How do you get to the point of action?
According to Brendon Burchard, author of The Motivation Manifesto
How to work on a goal when you don’t feel motivated
Find the purpose
Why did you set your goal? What is the driving force behind your goal? What do you ultimately want?
Do you want to pay off debt? Having less stress, peace of mind and more freedom is the intrinsic motivation for paying off debt.
The problem with intrinsic motivation is the results are not always readily apparent. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find it.
Yet, over the long-term, intrinsic motivation works better than carrot and stick-type motivation. (And rewarding yourself with a trip to the mall if you reach your savings goals for the month well, that’s just sabotage.)
Know your why. Write it down. And look at it Every. Single. Day.
Focus on small wins
Think of your favorite online game (for example, Angry Birds). These games start you out on an easy level. As you conquer each level, you move up to the next level and gain more skills and points as you go.
Those games have an addictive quality. Use the same type of level ups as motivation to continue on your goal.
Small wins are the level ups that propel you to your ultimate destination. Breaking down the larger goal into smaller, more manageable steps provides the momentum and motivation you need to continue.
Realize it’s a choice
Do you like to be told what to do? I’m guessing the answer is no. No, you don’t.
I’m the poster child of rebellion when I’m told I have to do something (because I don’t have to!).
But, I don’t think any of us really like being told what we “have to” do. This leads to resistance, a classic enemy of motivation. Even if it’s something you like to do, when you think you have to do it, you’ll probably procrastinate.
On the other hand, choosing to do something, well, that’s different. You know you don’t have to do it, but when you think of it as a choice, it becomes something you actually want to do. That’s motivation.
Change your thinking
If you don’t actually believe you can accomplish a goal, you won’t have an ounce of motivation to work on it.
When you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, it can feel impossible.
You have to get your mind right and believe your goal is within reach. You have to figure out how to start.
Change your thinking from “I can’t” to “I can’t yet” and ask yourself how you can get started. More than anything, you must start. Remember, effort spurs motivation.
Focus on what you can control
Fact: There are things in life you cannot control. (I know. Brilliant, Amanda. Such an epiphany.)
Other people will behave and believe in ways you can’t control. Don’t spend your time and energy mulling over other people’s behavior. Focus on what you can control: your own thoughts, behaviors, and responses.
Sometimes in life, shit happens that is beyond our control. I have no ingenious advice for you for when this happens, except that you have to find some level of acceptance in order to move on. This is not an easy task, but it is a chance for reflection, growth and love – both for ourselves and others. 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows.
What’s done is done. Leave the past in the past and move forward to the future.
What can you control? You can control your behavior, your spending, your eating, how often you exercise, how long you work, and how much focus you have. You control your self, your response, and your time.
Too much of a good thing can be too much
People that are able to hyper-focus and magically come up with infinite amounts of motivation and action positively amaze me.
But most of us don’t have those superhuman powers. If you’re pushing too hard, you can burnout from too much focus on your goal.
Here’s the thing, when you are fixated on working on this one goal and spend all your time and energy on it, other things will, inevitably, suffer. Sleep, family, friends, the joy of daily life.
Self care has to be part of reaching any goal. What’s your hurry? Slow it down and enjoy the journey. But do get started!
What helps you stay motivated to work on your goals?
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I think forming new habits is the key for me. That definitely involves many steps you outlined. For exercise, or for saving money, or reaching any other goal, once something becomes second nature and I’m not mentally wrestling over the choice each time, it’s so much easy to make progress. If I think too much about whether to go to the gym, I won’t go. Same goes for any goal.
Developing habits is the key. Once you get the habits formed, progress follows naturally. This works really well for me on most goals, but for some odd reason, even after years of exercising fairly regularly, I still have to think about it and force myself to go and get started (and I go on the same days, same times for the most part).
Great stuff, Amanda. Can’t find fault with any of your advice.
What works for me (and works well for me), is to have a continual reminder of my goal. For example: if you have a weight goal, put that number on a sticky note on your monitor, make it the wallpaper on your phone, etc. By seeing my goal everywhere I can’t help but think about it, and when I think about it I work on it.
Thanks, Ty! The continual reminder is a great idea – love it. This is where having a specific, measurable goal is great. Like savings or weight – the specific goal could be great motivation, especially if you are constantly reminded of it.
Great stuff!
Taking action is the tough part. Whether its going to he gym, or saving money. It’s not easy, especially when you are having a tough day and just want to be lazy or indulge yourself. But you get stronger each time you do it, and it’s all worth it when you see the results 🙂
“But you get stronger each time you do it” – such a great point! When you work on it even when you don’t feel like it, eventually, what’s hard becomes easy.
Thanks Mr. CK!
I like to focus on the end state. What will my life be like when completed the goal. For debt repayment we would have less stress, more money to build wealth. In terms of losing weight I’ll feel better have more energy. When I think of the end state it helps keep me motivated because these are the reasons why I set the goal in the first place.
That’s a great way to stay motivated, Brian! “What will my life be like when completed the goal” – keeping in mind “why” you are doing it is so important.
Great stuff, Amanda!
I actually use an app (Loop – Habit Tracker) to help myself develop a habit and keep myself motivated. What also helps is that the app generates cool visuals to tell me when I’ve reached a new high on how many days in a row I’ve kept.
For example, if I wanted to go to the gym everyday to become healthier and more fit, I’d input it into the app, and it would remind me every morning and track my progress. It’s kind of like budgeting as you would monitor all inputs in the app, just like all the transactions you would make to keep your spending under budget.
Thanks! Love the idea of using an app to keep track of the habits. It would be motivating to actually see the progress and keep the momentum going. Thanks for sharing! I’m going to check it out.
The hard part for me is getting into a routine. Once I do I usually don’t quit except for the summer and holidays.
Focusing on what we can control is very important and something I’m working on for motivation. December & January was a great exercise for me in that department.
Same here, Josh! It’s getting the habit started that’s hardest. Consistency is really important for me – if I get off a normal routine, it’s really hard to get back to it.
“When you are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start” – I have heard this one a lot lately. Mostly surrounding huge piles of debt – “50,000 just seems like to big a whole to cling out of” -start with a dollar!!!!!
Great post!
Thanks, AE! Exactly – start with a dollar. It’s amazing how momentum picks up after you actually get started.
Great stuff. The hardest part is always the first step. Once ive started a direction and been at it past the inevitable early slump things start to become ingrained and it just happens.
Thanks FTF! Absolutely – after that initial step forward, it becomes easier to continue.
This is a great reminder to keep on going and take action to achieve our goals. Too often I have the motivation and drive to reach toward my goal, but the motivation wears off after a while and I lose traction. I need to give myself more motivation and reminders (or a kick in the behind). This post is perfect for giving me that little nudge. Thanks.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Leo! I think we all start off with a ton of motivation for a new goal, but that motivation wanes with time. Those reminders, plus taking 15 minutes and getting started on a task, can help move you forward.
What I also find interesting is why can one person be so good at one habit, like exercise, but have a hard time with other habits like eating well (um, me!), or not saving money? Habits are a mystery to me! lol!
Yes, Tonya! That’s the puzzle for me too. I am pretty good at my frugal habits, but still have to force the exercise. I know it’s supposed to be automatic after doing it consistently for so long – but the only thing that really motivates me to continue is the results.
Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
I remember looking at our massive amount of debt and wondering where to start. The key is to START! Dave Ramsey’s advice on paying off debt, smallest to largest, is the best. It’s more about the mental than the actual dollars and cents. Thanks for the post. Great advice!
Yes – START! When we were paying off our student loan debt, we paid off the smallest balance first. It was a relief to wipe one completely off the board and provided the momentum to start on the others. And, I completely agree, it’s more about the mental than the money.
Thanks for the comment! 🙂
I think creating a list is a huge motivator. It motivates me to get it done so I can check it off, which feels really rewarding afterward!
Agreed, Alexis! A list is a necessity for getting things done and marking them off its the best feeling. I’ve been trying to make my to do lists more manageable. I was falling into the trap of making them so long, they weren’t doable. I’ve started planning by the month and breaking it down to week’s goals and, ultimately, daily to-dos to reach those goals. So far, so good.
“effort spurs motivation” – I really like that! This month has been a blah month for me. Winter blues I think. I haven’t found it in myself to get excited about “no-spend-January” initiatives (sorry!) and I’ve been dragging myself a bit. But even in this low-motivation state, I see the truth in that statement. Thank you. That might just be the push I need to get through the deep of winter with optimism : )
I’m right there with you, Ruth. I haven’t seen the sun in so long, it’s depressing. And no need to apologize about the no spend January – sometimes we just need to get through the day, week, or even month and extra challenges or obligations only drag us down. I’ve had a few of those lately. I hope it actually does help you and your winter blues are gone soon! 🙂
Setting financial goals, executing on financial plans and taking action? No problem. Exercising? Oh that is a whole other story. I have thus far been unable to trick my brain into being convinced that I need to exercise every single day. The longest I’ve ever been able to consistently sustain an exercise schedule has been four months. I’m still trying though. One day I’ll figure it out.
I’m glad I’m not the only one, Mrs. BITA. I manage to do it regularly, but it’s almost always a struggle to get started. And if I get off the routine even one week, it carries over for several more. It’s also the first thing to go on the really busy days.
If only choosing to go to the gym were as easy as choosing to eat all the cookies 🙂
Thanks for breaking down these steps as a great reminder. All we have to do is get started and we won’t regret it because most things that are good for us make us feel good too, but I wonder why they’re not nearly as appealing as cookies.
Right on, Julie! Getting started is the hardest part, but the rewards are great. Unfortunately, cookies are pretty easy to start on! Now, resisting the cookies, that’s hard. 🙂
Amanda, sometimes when I don’t have enough motivation to do something for myself, I try to think about how it will impact other people. Sometimes I find it easier to do something for someone else that I care about rather than myself.
I do agree with your comment around start with what you can control. We can’t control circumstances that happen around us, but we can certainly control how we interpret the meaning. 🙂
That’s a great idea for motivating yourself, Michael! Thinking about the impact on loved ones can provide motivation to move forward on many goals – especially financial and health related goals.
Thanks for the comment! 🙂
Personally, I like tell my friends and family about my goals.
It keeps me accountable and thus motivated. Plus, it gives us something tangible to talk about at the dinner table.
Yes! Creating accountability is huge, Nate! I mean, who wants to go tell friends and family you quit or gave up? Reporting progress to others, or even working on a goal together, can up the motivation factor, for sure.
Thanks for stopping by!
I hear you on this one, Amanda. My goal for the past two weeks have been to drink a gallon of water each day because I feel absolutely frickin amazing. I believe I’ve been dehydrated all my life! Anyway, I’ve been in a little funk, but I’m trying to make sure I at least get 3/4 of the gallon. I always remember how good I feel and keep chugging.
Brilliant, Latoya! Now I’m going to fill a water jug every day and give that a try. I’ve been tired – I thought just because of winter and not seeing the sun in forever. But, maybe I’m dehydrated and this will help. Thanks for sharing!
When I am totally lacking motivation, I just look at my one daily habit and action. If I can push through those, I can let everything else slide. 🙂
That’s a great way to keep going on those goals, Ms. Montana! 🙂
Wow really great advice! It really sucks when you lack motivation. I think what you said about getting small wins is a big deal for people. The worst thing is trying to grind towards a goal, but not seeing any improvement. A small win here or there will be a great self esteem boost 🙂
Thanks, Andrew! Those small wins are so important. Sometimes the larger goal can seem so far out of reach, but when you break it down and start seeing progress in the form of small wins, it gives you motivation to get more small wins.
Great post! Everyone likes to talk about the mountains, nobody likes talking about the valleys.
Thank you! “Everyone likes to talk about the mountains, nobody likes talking about the valleys.” This sums it up quite nicely!!! 🙂
We started focusing on the small wins. At the end of each day, we write down a success and then review the list of successes in the morning. We were getting so caught up on the list for the next day–no wonder we weren’t motivated. We were only ever confronted by that which we have to do. Now, we spend a few moments celebrating that journey. 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Claudia! Celebrating the journey and the small wins is so important! I love that you are spending time reviewing the successes in the morning, rather than the “to do” list. 🙂
This reminds me of a paragraph from “The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die” (John Izzo): “If we are not careful, we find ourselves forever getting through things on our way to what we think will bring us happiness. We may find ourselves continually telling ourselves that we will be happy if or that we will be happy when. It is not that we should not plan or yearn for things we have not yet achieved or experienced, but rather that happiness is always found when we are able to live in the present moment.”
I’m obsessed with this book right now. It’s chock full of great wisdom for life.
Adding it to my list. Thanks for the recommendation! 🙂