The holiday season is a time of the year filled with excitement, gifts, and parties. It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of go, go, go and spend, spend, spend. It’s also easy to develop “I’ll deal with it later” syndrome.
But after all the celebrations, overindulging on food, drink and spending, the days following the winter holidays can leave you feeling empty, guilty and depressed. Because “I’ll deal with it later” becomes “Crap, it’s later”.
Since you’re reading a personal finance blog, you probably had savings, debt payoff or other financial goals in place before the holidays. So, if you got off track and spent more than you intended, you may feel like you failed.
Does that mean you should just throw your arms up in despair and give up? Um, no. If you spent too much (ate too much, drank too much) over the holidays, you’re not alone. And it doesn’t make you a failure. Okay, you may feel guilty over it, but don’t let the guilt control you. What’s done is done. Choose to let it go and move forward.
How to deal with money and life after the holidays
Choose to stop making the same mistakes.
I know, you’re thinking “Duh, Amanda, why would I keep doing it if I feel bad about it?”. But it happens. I’ve done it. I’ve blown the budget and thought, “Screw it, I already blew it, what does it matter if I spend a little more?”.
Julie at Choose Better Life recently introduced me to a concept that fits perfectly here. It’s called the “What-The-Hell Effect”. According to Julie, it happens when you “…feel that since you’ve already failed, you might as well fail spectacularly.”
Let’s say you went over budget during the holidays, the “what-the-hell effect” kicks in and you think it doesn’t really matter if you spend even more since you already blew it.
Well, actually, it does matter. Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you have to keep making it. Don’t let your mistakes own you. Learn from them, fix them and move forward with the lessons you learned.
Maybe you need to stop using the credit cards to get things under control. Maybe you just need to stay home to avoid shopping and going out for a while. Or, maybe you need to join me in my challenge to do a no spend month. Do what you need to do to get back on track.
Plan something to look forward to.
Much of the excitement of the holidays comes from anticipation. Anticipation of giving and receiving gifts, going to parties, visiting with family and friends, and eating all the delicious food. Part of the letdown afterward is there is no longer all those things to look forward to.
So, go ahead and plan something to look forward to. Plan a potluck, game night, or Bowl party to give you something to anticipate and plan for. And then challenge yourself to get creative and keep the expenses next to nothing (have friends bring drinks/food, decorations, games, etc.).
Practice gratitude.
Write “thank you” notes for the gifts you received. Look at photos and write down the memories you created with family and friends. Call a friend and personally thank them for the time you spent together. Look around you…you won’t have to look far to find something to be grateful for. (Check out this post for more ideas on developing a gratitude habit.)
Write down your goals for the upcoming month and year.
January is the perfect time to reset and make a new start. What changes would you like to make? What are your goals and your dreams? What is your why?
Research has shown that actually writing down goals and creating accountability leads to greater success reaching the goals. Write down those goals and create a step by step plan for reaching them.
Give.
Part of the beauty of the holidays is giving to others. Giving to others makes us feel happy, energetic and improves mental and physical health. I’ve never heard of anyone feeling bad about doing something nice for someone else. You don’t have to give your money (you can if you can afford it), but give your kindness (open a door), your time (volunteer), or your unused items (shelters).
Giving can also help you when you don’t know exactly what to do or what’s next for you. So, if you really don’t know which direction to go, take this advice from Cait and “help someone else”.
The time after the holidays can be difficult. Getting back to real life is really tough, but facing the challenges of getting goals back on track can make it even harder.
Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time but, most importantly, choose to move forward.
Nice post, Amanda! I’m in the lull between storms. In-laws visiting for Christmas and then my family descending in a couple of days! By next Saturday the storms will have passed! (It’s all good, just lots of food and drink!)
We did fine financially, but I need to get my pants let out a bit! Hopefully, by the end of January, I will be back to normal.
Thanks, Jon! We won’t be in full recovery mode for another week either. With everyone home this week, we will be off our normal routines and doing our annual holiday “staycation”. I’m excited to spend so much time with the family, but know it will be hard to get back to normal in January!
The food! Oh, the food. We still have leftovers, mostly cookies and candy. Why do we make so much food?!
Ha! “Crap, it’s later.”
Happy holidays, Amanda. I love the idea of always having something to look forward to. We host an annual neighborhood dinner in mid-January, mostly because we thought the holidays were so busy that we’d have low attendance in November/December, but it’s also true that it gives us a relaxing and fun time to catch up with everyone once the dust settles.
Happy holidays to you too, Julie! 🙂 I LOVE the idea of an annual dinner in January! We should do something like this. The holidays are so. very. busy!
Merry Christmas, Amanda! We had an early Christmas, and our house is now empty (‘crept for 3 dogs!). I like the idea of “anticipation”, and building in excitement for future goals. I’m trying to get in better shape, think I’ll find a nice 10k to run in the Spring. Anticipation works for $$, it works for fitness, and works for life!
Find something to look forward to!
Merry Christmas to you too, Fritz! 🙂 I think anticipation, or the journey, is important. Having the goal of a 10k will definitely provide incentive for you! I look forward to reading about it.
Love the What the Hell Effect post.
Its goal tracking and writing season – we are in the process of getting ready for 2017.
I still occasionally pull the “I’ll deal with it later card” but found that it’s much better to get it off my mind right away instead of thinking about it for days, weeks or months
Same! We are working on goals for 2017 too. I’m making them measurable, specific and will publish them publicly later in January – accountability!
As I get older, “I’ll deal with it later” weighs more heavily on my mind, for some reason. When I do push something off until later, I have to have a plan for dealing with it or it toys with my sanity.
Great post Amanda! I like that you are focusing on moving forward – even if it is in small amounts and only in a few areas. Great tie to Julie’s post too! We are traveling right now – (typing as we drive back across the state of Florida!) and it will be tough to switch gears in a week. Easy to shift “out” of our normal routine – harder to “re-align” with it!
I understand completely, Vicki! I am on a sort of week-long sabbatical this week – and so is the rest of the family. January 3 will be a tough adjustment, no doubt. But it’s always good to get back to work on goals!
Great message! I definitely ate and drank too much, but have no regrets about it 🙂 We actually got away with spending nothing, and instead found a bunch of stuff to donate. The eating and drinking will go back to healthier levels after the new year 😉
Great post, and I wish the best for you and the family in the new year!
Thanks, Mr. CK! It’s great that you don’t have regrets on too much food and drink! 🙂 And it’s awesome you didn’t spend anything and were able to give. Like you, I am working toward healthier eating and drinking habits in the New Year!
Thanks for the kind words! I wish you guys the best for the New Year as well! Cheers!
We actually still have to reschedule a couple Christmas get-togethers so I don’t feel like it’s over! I like having something to look forward to. Though it’s not frugal, one thing I’m considering is scheduling a vacation for late Summer. I’ve found in the past when I have a vacation to work towards I am more easily motivated to “hustle” and pursue my goals.
Most years, this is the time when we think about what vacations we will take and start to make reservations. This year, for the first time in a long time, we don’t have any definitive destination, but I like the idea of starting the vacation plan to give us something to look forward to.
I’ve definitely fallen for “What the hell” effect before! It can be a slippery slope, so I always try to avoid it as best I can!
I’ll be the first to admit I ate a TON over the past weekend–although I have absolutely no regrets on doing so. I’ll be in the gym working off the extra pounds this week haha.
I did drink a little too, but nothing compared to last year (yay for improvement!).
We’ve all experienced the “what the hell effect” at one time or another! Just having the ability to identify when it’s happening is a big step in the right direction!
I ate too much too! But, like you, I have a plan to get in a couple of extra gym visits, so no regrets! 🙂
I actually started to write down my goals at the second week of December, so that when January comes, I’ll be already implementing it, and already past the planning phase.
GREAT idea, Sammy! Having those goals already set and ready to go is the perfect way to get started off on the right foot!
Thanks for the comment!
Great thoughts Amanda. For many I still think it lingers until after New Years, when the bills for December start rolling in, but its never to early to gain back control and avoid digging a bigger hole for yourself.
Thanks, Brian! I agree, I’m still in the midst of the holidays myself, with all of us off for the week. Getting back to “normal” won’t start to happen until next week. Then it’s full speed ahead on the new goals!
These are all great ideas!
I think it’s about developing a sense of mindfulness when it comes to your finances. It’s been so, so tough for me to conquer expenses, but it’s all about approaching your money from a long term mindset. I’m aiming to have an uber frugal January (courtesy of the Frugalwoods challenge), so hopefully we can get our savings rate to 60% in January!
Thanks, Mrs. Picky Pincher! Taking the long-term approach really helps when making those day-to-day spending decisions (a great reason to track net worth!). A whole month of low or no spending is an awesome way to boost the savings rate! I plan to do the same.
We lived the “what-the-hell” effect for YEARS. Working to get out of debt has taught us that every bit of progress counts and that mistakes CAN be reversed. Great post, Amanda!
Thanks, Laurie! Sometimes, in the moment “what-the-hell” seems like the easier route, but in the long term, it isn’t easier. You’re right, every little bit of progress helps and will add up over time to success!!!
Yup! As much as I already miss my students, I’m not in a huge rush to go back to work! I think what makes it particularly hard is the fact that winter can be so BLAH after the holidays. It’s cold and gray for at least four more months, so this list will be super helpful to get my butt back in gear!
Agreed, Penny. Winter can seem sooo long. It’s easy to get the blahs after the holidays. That’s what I like about planning a get-together or something else to look forward to!
I confess that I was gluttonous. I also confess that I regret nothing. This was our first Christmas in our home as a nuclear family. I loved it! I loved watching my Toddler’s face as she opened her stocking. I loved the time we spent with friends. In short, I feel replete with blessings. It also helps that I am off work until the new year : )
In the past my ‘danger’ month has not been December, but January. I get the Monday blues with a vengeance once all the fun is done, and I have tended to shop to distract myself. So I strongly second your ‘give yourself the gift of anticipation’ message – I have to have something fun planned for January to beat the blues.
Happy Holidays to you and yours, and a very happy new year.
Oh, Mrs. BITA, it’s great you were able to spend the holiday with your close family and friends! We’ve done the same…nothing busy on the agenda, but lots of relaxation and time together.
I’m glad you agree with the value of planning something to anticipate! This is can really help me through the gloom that often follows the holidays, when everyone is back at work/school and routines.
Happy holidays to your and your family too! Here’s to a wonderful New Year! 🙂
We didn’t spend very much over the holidays but we definitely ate too much. However, we’re now the proud owners of Magic Bullet. I received it as a Christmas gift (well, it’s more like I “stole” it during our family grab-bag since stealing is allowed). I tried it out today by making a fruit smoothie. We’ll be getting many more uses out of it to detox after this eating season is over.
Wishing you and your family a very Happy New Year!
Wow, Mrs. Groovy! What a steal! I love making fruit/veggie smoothies. I’ll probably be incorporating those into my diet more in January as well. I, too, am guilty of eating too much.
Happy New Year to you and Mr. Groovy!
We are spending part of New Year’s Eve writing our financial and non-financial goals for 2017.
Healthwise, we are going to try to give up gluten as much as possible to makeup for all the treats we enjoyed from Thanksgiving through the New Year.
I love the idea of spending time together working on your goals. I’ve set my own goals and we’ve discussed financial goals as a couple, but I’d like to make a date out of it to discuss it more in depth too.
I eat gluten free 80% of the time. My kids used to be the same and then they became teenagers. I will go 100% gluten free in January as well (but my family probably won’t follow suit). I tend to feel better overall when I eliminate it from my diet.
Amanda, I love how you included the value of giving. I shared a similar thought in my most recent post. Having a giving mindset certainly helps to maintain a proper perspective about what’s truly important!
Thanks! Giving is something I’m going to focus more energy on in 2017! It helps so much in developing an attitude of gratitude and appreciating what’s truly important.
Wise words. I always get down after the holidays. I enjoy the “getting ready” and “looking forward to” more than anything – like most people, I guess, and I really miss that feeling. There is a warmth that I can never get back. But I guess that is what makes the holiday season special. I really loved what you said about thanking people who you shared special memories with. I got to spend two luxurious hours at my local diner with my best friend from the second grade while she was in town to celebrate the holidays and it really filled me with joy. As did seeing my cousin, who is more like a sister, and going with her to visit our almost 99 year old aunt with all our children. I am so thankful for these two Christmas memories. I am going to write them both notes now to say it.
Oh, Linda! I’m so glad you created some amazing memories with your loved ones over the holidays! And they are going to love the notes from you telling them as much. What better gift could you give them!? 🙂
“Warmth” – that’s exactly the right word for how the holidays feel to me. I love having my family close. I love the food. I love the Christmas lights. I love the time spent relaxing and doing fun things together. It’s such a nice break from routine and busyness – “warmth” is the absolute best way to describe how it feels to me. I’ll miss it too, but with the no spend month coming up, hope to have that warmth on the weekends at home.
Hi CR,
Fantastic article, you have shared information for people who have made many mistakes. I have done many mistakes, which was $10,000. I have overspent, and now I’m suffering from the avalanche I faced, and I’m unable to get out of it. I will take measures and will ensure it won’t happen again, despite emotional blackmail from my family.
Thank you for sharing the Tips with us all.